Thursday, August 6, 2009

Newsflash: I am not a mature person

Yes, it's true. I am silly. Foolish. A bit addled at times. After my way fun cleaning at the dentist (no bleeding gums or pain, just sitting in the chair for an hour and that nasty flouride...blech), I went to my good friend Lara's new condo to help her put together Ikea furniture. A task I dreaded more than the visit to the guy with the drill. But, you know what? 

I had fun. 



6000 screws combined with incomprehensible diagrams and 28 steps....was fun. Why? Because we were goofy and immature the entire time. I couldn't even type "6000 screws" without giggling inanely. Lots of's a taste: 

Insert this thing here? 
Put it in this hole.
What hole?
I can't see the hole!
Try and feel the hole.
It's really you think it fits?
I can't bang this any harder, it hurts! 
I think it's better if we do it on the side.

Annnd many more. The sexual innuendos were interspersed with us giggling uncontrollably and me swearing like a trucker. "Get in there you fucking bitch," was a popular number. "Godamn fucking shit," was a close second, I'd have to say. I know, very creative. These expletives and the hilarity kept me from throwing particle board through Lara's window when we had to take something apart because the stupid drawings didn't show which stupid piece had to be at the front. THEN the drawers wouldn't come open once they were closed! FUCKERS! We triple checked we did it all right, and we had. She's gonna call Ikea and give 'em a piece of her mind tomorrow. 

So that was my day! She bought me a nice dinner for my troubles, baked spaghetti, my fave. It wasn't a healthy meal, but I only ate 1/2, so that's good! I didn't work out though. :( Yesterday I did the step again, so there is that. Guess I won't self-flagellate over it

Stats for the day:

Exercise: mostly my mouth, but some sweating over Ikea furniture assemblage

Weight: 195



~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

ahhahahah good times. I swear at inatimate objects all the time. I've been known to throw staplers and useless calculators at work. My manager would tell wall hardware she'd "fucking kill you" if it didn't get into the wall. Good times!

Fat Daddy said...

No, you're not mature...but then again, I'm not either. It's why movies like 40 year old virgin make dough...people like us.

I was channeling beavis and butthead while reading your post. heh-heh...heh-heh..."she said hole" heh-heh.

Carroll said...

I could totally see you and Lara putting that furniture together, your description was so vivid, not to mention the language. Good thing the kids can't read their auntie's blog! (I guess you never know, Alyssa can probably do a lot more on the computer that I would want to know!)

Love ya sis! Keep up the good work, you look great!

TC said...

Wow, a comment from my very own sister!! Thanks sis! :):)