Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Late night post...zzzzzzzzzzz

I wasn't going to blog today because, well, it's almost tomorrow. But, I felt bad not doing what I said I'd do, and here I am. 

Damn, guilt really works for me.

Feeling better today, thank god. Sometimes having "lady junk" really sucks (thanks Carlos). Of course, if I had to choose between the dingle-dangling man parts flappin' in the breeze and the neat, tidy internal female parts, I choose the latter. Thank god, really, because that whole sexual reassignment surgery just looks painful. 

I had some bad moments a few posts ago and was getting a bit frustrated with the scale. BUT I think it's back on its downward path...thank you weight-loss gods.

I worked out today, ate well and hopefully will see a nice result on the scale tomorrow. If not, well, maybe the next day. Or the next. This is where your comments, and your blogs really help me. I know I am on a journey here, and if I don't meet my short-term goals, that's ok. I will meet those goals eventually. I came into this thing really wanting to lose 40lbs in four months or so. I know this is a lot of weight in a short period of time, so it's very possible I won't get there. The important thing is that I don't beat myself up and then GIVE UP if I don't get there. I think that mentality was sneaking in a bit last week. Like, what the fuck is the point of all this if I am not losing weight? Am I a masochist? I like to torture myself? But, now I see the scale go down again, and am reminded that I have to just stick with it. Stick with it like gum cemented under a table at a greasy spoon diner. Like that lady's dentures in those Polydent commercials. Like an Olympic gymnast sticks a landing. Stick with it like superglue. Um. Yeah...that's all I got.  I am fading fast here and dammit, it's tomorrow already. :( 

I hope my little treat this evening won't hurt my chances for a loss tomorrow. I had a bellini with my friend Lara. It was so good. I wanted another. It was on special. Half price. I didn't.

Otherwise I had:

Kashi ceral
Whole wheat wrap with a small portion of black forest ham, lettuce, red pepper, one slice of reduced fat cheddar, mustard and onion (YUM)
Vitatop muffin (last one...dunno if I will buy more)
Small serving of turkey chili (homemade and REALLY good)
Small bun

I am sad I am out of strawberries, and my fruit/veg intake is down again. Blah. 

Oh, and something cool...I thought I was hooped and had to go to the store 'cause I didn't have tomato sauce for my chili. Then I noticed we had more of that pasta sauce from last night. Hmm. I tried it, and it was really good! Especially since the sauce is zero fat and has all these added veggies. I may use it from now on, even!

Ok, sleep time. Nighty night.

Stats for the day:

Weight: 196

Exercise: 40 min.


I'm the Fat Daddy. said...

Normally nothing good comes from late night bloggin', but not in this case.

Those plateau times are hell on will-power. Here's to you for stickin' it out.

It'll pay, you'll see.

Coley said...

Ahh, late night blogging. I am the same with my randomness at night. Also, the thoughts and worries of how impossible this all is creeps up on me... who am I kidding, those thoughts flood me.
I, too, wonder if I'm a glutton from punishment because of the struggle and feelings of desperation and failure that comes with this journey. Sure, the triumphs trump the bad, but they seem so few and far between, breaking these lifelong habits...

Youuuu are noooot alooooone
Iiii am heeere with youuuuu...

Carlos said...

fake it until you feel it... that's the wife's motto...(damn, i get it now)

TC said...

Fat Daddy: Oh, I know...late night blogging...good thing I stopped at sexual reassignment surgery. :P

Coley: Glad to be not alone. :)

Carlos: Your wife is a wise, wise woman. Listen to her always. :P

Tiffany said...

Hope you had a good weigh in. :)