Sunday, August 23, 2009

Fat to me or not fat to me


I am just a posting demon...writing on a Sunday here! Figure you will not be blessed with my blogging presence for five days, so I'd just inundate you with nonsense so you will just feel relived to have a reprieve. 

I have just been thinking, once again, about the sad fact that so many women think of themselves as fat. Even if they are so very NOT. I know that some of it is just whining and self-pity-induced need for reassurance from the world that they are, indeed, NOT fat. They are perfect, lovely, a slender reed. But then there are the ones who truly, with all their heart and soul believe they are fat. It is so very hard for us to see ourselves as others might. My very sweet guy friend told me last night that he didn't think I was fat at all...not even 30 lbs ago. I can't even wrap my brain around the idea! Is he crazy? Blind? Delusional? Or is he just being kind? Tryin' to make the chubby girl feel better about her sad self. My friend, Lara, said the same thing today! Not fat. Still can't believe it. Now how many people have to tell me this before I believe them? 10? 15? 100? Will I EVER believe it? I can't really remember feeling not fat. Maybe a year of my life here and there, but it was always short-lived. Not sure what will come of that. 

In my vain search to find jeans for my trip, I tried on a thousand pairs at the freaky-tall girl store. Nothing fit properly. The only pair I found that actually fit was, now get this, a size TWELVE. No shit. Of course I know this is just vanity sizing or whatever, 'cause there is no way in hell I am a size 12. I couldn't even feel good about that size for a second. Again, I wonder how many times I will have to fit into that size to believe it. Oh, and I didn't buy those jeans because they were almost $100 and had this weird whiskering shit going on on the thighs. Fuck that noise! I went to Old Navy and found a pair for $25 (size 14 Long, btw- I could get the 12s done up, but yugh, too tight!).

My new jeans...





 I know, kinda blurry. Whatev. Oh, and this was the size large top I got a couple weeks ago. Buh-bye XL! 

I had a great time going downtown though! The train was lovely and fast. I got to visit Lara at work and see her do her thang for the news updates. Very cool!  Seeing the setup, watching her get her news stories together and sitting in The Booth listening to her do the "radio voice" was the highlight of my visit! Bonus was walking 20 min. to the train and back and then walking around downtown was my workout! 

Stats for the day:

Exercise: 40 minutes brisk walking + 20 of downtown wandering

Weight: 190








14 comments:

Coley said...

What is the freaky tall girl store? I need new places to go! LB jeans, I'm just TIRED of them, I have a zillion pair and they're boring. Then Torrid jeans are usually not tall enough and the worst part - they ALL stretch out so they fit in the morning and in the next two hours are SO loose they are FALLING down my butt!

TC said...

Coley: Don't ya just love being tall? Most stores "long" or "tall" is a laughable 34 inch inseam. Yeah, thanks. I found this ONE long Old Navy style "Flirt" that is juuuust long enough (flats only).

The store I go to is called, originally enough, Tall Girl. They do exist in the US, and online. Their inseams are 36-38 inches. Jeans run REALLY long, and I have to hem a couple inches off usually. YES. HEM. Their sizes fit a bit bigger than their size charts indicate, in my experience.

http://www.tallgirlshop.com

She-Fit said...

Nice Jeans!
I wish all of us could see ourselves for what others see. We are our own worst critics. I always struggle with this topic myself.

TC said...

She-Fit: Thanks! I am digging 'em a lot. Thanks for the comment...your blog is so great and informative!

Fat Daddy said...

I think it is all a balance and many women can't find the middle. It's ok to be honest with yourself, but to actually not see how wonderful you look is hard for us guys to understand. Perhaps it is because we see much more to our women than just their weight or shape.

Maybe you will never see yourself as skinny, but those shrinking jeans sizes tell the story don't they?

btw...good riddance to the XL...congrats.

Carlos said...

nice jeans... but you are all blurry like that chaos broad on trueblood!

TC said...

FD: Love that idea, that you wonderful men in our lives see more than our weight. I think I'm gonna give hubs a BIG hug and kiss when he gets home 'cause he thinks I am sexy at any size. :)

Carlos: Ooh, I was totally channeling Mary-Anne when I took that pic! Freaky.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

So not fat!

Dude, look at those gams....I'm jealous!

TC said...

UGWBH: I *heart* you! (I'd like my legs more if they could fit into regular pants! Fuckin' 36 inch inseam!)

Madame DeFarge said...

Looking good! As a lady of shorter stature, I loathe buying trousers, as they're never the right length. Enjoy the time off too.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

I love being "heart"ed lol. I wish I had to worry about that. I'm a midget yo.

TC said...

MDF: I know you petit ladies have the same, if not opposite issues! But, as I always say, you can at least hem! Just shoot the scraps my way, and I'll sew 'em on my floods!

Amber: See above. :P

Blasé said...

You look fantastic in those jeans...imho

TC said...

Blase: Thank you! I appreciate the compliment. :)